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I want to f*@k you like an Animal

September 21, 2009

When the Nine Inch Nails wrote, “I want to fuck you like an Animal”, they must have been thinking of this place.

Notice they didn’t say “make love to”, “go to bed with”, or even “have sex with”.

No. They were specific.

Because Animal delivers the kind of visceral experience you can otherwise only get with a dirty, sweaty, no holds barred fuck. That feeling of being deeply satiated, exhausted and with meaty juices still coating your fingers and face.

Foreplay consisted of the house smoked pork belly with lentil and butterbean salad. A thick cut of fatty pork belly, marinated in a sweet barbecue sauce, perfectly grilled and caramelized. Deliciously sweet and sitting on top of a “salad” of lentils and butterbeans in a tart vinaigrette. The single slice of pork belly was at least 10″ long. Apparently a very satisfying size.

Pork Belly

Photo courtesy of doliesl on Flickr

The main course for me was quail fry, grits, maple jus, long cooked chard, and more slab bacon. Imagine if the Colonel of KFC fame had an idiot savant younger brother who displayed sparks of culinary genius and enjoyed deep frying small birds coated in a crispy batter until golden brown, then serving them with momma’s family recipe of grits and greens and four generous slices of fatty slab bacon. This was seriously finger lickin’ good. And as a bonus, those small quail bones make great toothpicks.

Quail fry

Photo courtesy of mstori on Flickr

Main course for her was the flat iron steak, PBR fondue, cauliflower, brussel sprouts, and crispy leek. Befitting the theme, this dish was meaty and raw. It was sauced with a gamey, earthy sauce and topped with a PBR “fondue”. After I had desecrated the bones of four small birds, I finished off the remainder of her steak.

Flat iron

Photo courtesy of Food GPS

Dessert was left for home. I believe it involved a creampie of some description.

As for decor, the interior was all sturdy wooden tables, benches and chairs, concrete floors and exposed bulbs. No soft furnishings to pick up any telltale stains. And just like a good brothel, there is no sign on the outside of the restaurant. Just a discrete 435 to entice you in.


Animal may just be the best rebuttal for vegetarianism I’ve encountered.

After all, the Nine Inch Nails didn’t write, “I want to fuck you like a vegetable.”

Although that could be fun.

So I’ve been told.

435 N Fairfax Ave
Los Angeles, CA 90048
(323) 782-9225

Animal in Los Angeles

Animal on Urbanspoon

3 Comments leave one →
  1. September 21, 2009 7:11 pm


  2. Edgar permalink
    October 14, 2009 11:25 am

    One of my favorite restaurants ever. Nice pics. Saucy review.

  3. Thegirl permalink
    November 12, 2009 9:53 pm

    Love it.

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